I am a shadowy rat, a crawling cockroach. I've never been in a relationship my entire life. Timid and insecure, my youth is nothing but one fantasy after another — imagining that someday someone who loves me would walk the streets with me, go shopping with me, hang out with me. But reality? I spent my parents' money on school, graduated and got a job, still searching for ideals, still searching for direction. Every time I see people joking about their happiness online, I want to cry. I envy all the beauty in life, yet I'm still looking for my own path. Every time I see posts like these, it wounds my soul. Please, give us peepers hiding under our blankets a way to survive. I really don't want to soak my pillowcase with tears in broad daylight.